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Wednesday, October 19, 2016

I'm Glad It's the Last Debate

   By the time you read this, the last debate between Trump and Clinton will probably be over, a "winner" and a "loser" will have been declared, and the pundits will be busy picking apart every statement, but I'm glad it's the last presidential debate of the 2016 election. Here's why:

1.) We will no longer be subjected to mental images of the size of anybody's "hands."

2.) We will not have to learn any more new dance crazes, like the "Hillary Shimmy" or the "Donald Jerk."

3.) We won't have to wonder about the hidden psychological meaning of extreme sniffing.

4.) All the Ken Bone red sweaters are sold out.

5.) We won't have to learn any more new nicknames, like "Little Marco" or "Crooked Hillary."

6.) We can get over the fact that the future of our great  nation is being decided based on who can tell a lie most convincingly.

7.) We won't have to wonder any more if anyone's Wiki leaks.

8.)  Hopefully no more people will bring up memories of real or imagined sexual assaults from 30 years ago.

9.) We won't have to keep explaining to our children why it's not okay to interrupt, even though the people on the stage do it.

10.) We don't have to find out how much lower anyone will stoop to be elected president.

11.) We can get the election over with and put this terrible election of 2016 behind us and get on to probably not more important, but at least less depressing things.