Wednesday, May 23, 2018

To the Moms and Dads of the Class of 2018

    To all you moms and dads of the high school seniors who are ready to cry buckets at your child's graduation ceremony, let me say just one thing - don't!!   As a mother of two adult "children" and one Class of 2018 high school senior, let me assure you that high school graduation is not an ending but a new beginning.   No matter how wonderful it was to see your child navigate through the past 12 years and become the person they are now, this is just the beginning.  Although they are technically "adults", many of them have much more growing and maturing to do.  Now is the time to stand back and gaze in amazement at how far they have come thus far, but there is still a long way to go until they are fully mature and self sustaining adults.
   Many have discovered an area of passion, a talent or a skill that they enjoy and are good at and wish to pursue, but some are still testing the waters and have yet to determine what career path to take.  Although you will be (and should be) less involved in their day to day activities from now on, they will still look to you for guidance on the "big" issues.  Let them test out their fledgling wings. Don't rush in to rescue at every sign of a little misstep. Let them figure it out.  They will not grow confident in their own decision making skills if you make every decision for them.
    Enjoy your new found freedom!  If this is your youngest child that is graduating, you have escaped the world of parent teacher conferences, helping with homework, and working on school projects and committees.  You might find yourself with free time to pursue those long abandoned hobbies that you once enjoyed before your schedule was commandeered by your children's activities.  This is not to say you did not enjoy and feel fulfilled by those activities at the time.  It's wonderful for parents to be involved in their children's lives and volunteer their time for the benefit of our youth, but now it's someone else's turn.  Relax, take a breath, and enjoy this new independence, just as your children are now enjoying their new-found independence as well.
     Don't worry that your child will no longer need you.   They still need you just as much, but in a different way.  They may need a listening ear when there are relationship problems, or they are not getting along with their roommate.  They need encouragement when classes are difficult and exams are looming.  They might just want to call and hear your voice when they are lonely in those first months away from home.  A child never outgrows the need for parental love and affirmation - they just need it in smaller doses and at longer intervals.  They will still love to see you there at the big moments like college graduation, moving into the first apartment, or getting the first job.  They will still look for your face in the crowd when they have big events in their lives.  They will relish a few days of home cooking and a familiar room and bed to sleep in when they have a few days away from jobs or college.
      High school graduation is a time to look back in appreciation and celebration of the good times, good friends, hard work, and accomplishments thus far- but don't worry!  It's not over!  Many just as amazing and wonderful experiences and accomplishments are just around the corner.  So go ahead and shed a tear or two, but let them be tears of joy and love, not tears of sadness. Congratulations to the class of 2018, and to their moms and dads, friends and grandparents, and all who have supported them along the way to where they are right now, and the fantastic places that they are going to in the future!

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

What I Don't Want to Hear After Las Vegas

   I'm leaving the television off tonight.  I don't want to hear about the perpetrator of the Las Vegas shootings, and how he planned it all out in great detail, and how many guns he had and rounds of ammunition her fired off. I don't want to hear about his girlfriend, and what she did or did not know, and how she was guilty or not guilty, and how nobody suspected anything, and how he was just a normal guy who happened to own a stockpile of firearms and modified them so he could kill and maim hundreds of people in a matter of minutes.
      I also don't want to hear about the innocent lives that were lost, and the fatherless and motherless children that must now spend the rest of the lives without their parent, and the mothers who lost sons, and the wives who lost husbands, and the communities that the victims had contributed so much to and how much they will be missed.  I don't want to hear about how kind and loving they were and how they never did anything to deserve being mowed down and shot like fish in a barrel.
     I don't want to hear how the investigators are looking for answers and trying to find the motive.  (What does it matter? What possible motive could there be besides insanity?)  And how they are combing through details of the lives of countless people to understand how and why this happened, and to figure out what would lead an otherwise "normal" person to want to cause so much death and dismay in the lives of so many people he has never met.
      And I don't want to hear that our president commends all the first responders for doing such great jobs, and how it was a miracle that happened there that night.  (What kins of miracle causes the deaths of 58 people and injuring of so many more?)
     I also don't want to hear about the shrines that have popped up in Las Vegas  and how people are sad but things are returning to normal, and the casinos are open again, and the tourists are coming back out of hiding.
   The only thing I want to hear is the one thing they are not talking about.  I want to hear that our President and Congress will do whatever it takes, move heaven and earth, pull out all the stops, put politics aside, and start tonight to pass new gun laws that will prevent ordinary citizens from owning automatic or semi-automatic weapons and silencers; that will prevent sale of items that allow people to modify guns and turn them into automatic fast firing killing machines; that will double down on background checks and limit the amount of guns or ammunition that any one person can possess; that will prevent the mentally ill from owning firearms, that will protect our citizens and our children from the fear of the next mass shooting.  I don't want to hear how sorry people are and what a tragedy this was. I want to hear what somebody is going to do to stop this insanity in our country.  I want to hear that we are following the lead of Australia and the UK who have passed laws that have greatly reduced the amount of incidents like this in their countries.  I want to hear that the rights of our citizens to live in peace and without fear is more important than the rights of killers who want to make names for themselves.  That, my friend, is the only thing I really want to hear, but the silence is deafening.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Paris - A City for the Senses

    Our stay in Paris began with a bus tour of the city.  Our guide, Madeleine, explained to us that Paris is a very sensual city, in that Parisians like to enjoy the finer things of life through the senses.  That is why almost everywhere you look in Paris, you find beauty and extravagance.  From the statues and fountains, to the soaring cathedrals and churches, right down to the lamp posts and bridges, almost every surface of Paris is the result of artistry and craftsmanship way beyond the norm.  There are very few things that are purely functional in Paris - almost everything is a work of art to be appreciated and admired.
    Let me show you some examples:

     Bas relief carvings on the Arc de Triomphe, which was built by order of Napoleon Bonaparte

This highly carved container was affixed to the stone wall near the entrance of Sacre Coeur Basilica.  I'm unsure of what it was meant to hold.

Fancy brickwork on a building. I snapped this picture from the bus as we were leaving Paris.

The base of a bridge we passed under while on a boat tour of the Seine. 

A room that was once used by royalty in the Louvre Palace/Museum.  This room is about 50 yards long (I'm guessing) and every square inch including the ceiling is this highly decorated.

Pastries and quiches in a patisserie where we stopped for lunch one day. They are as delicious as they look!

Intricate wrought iron railings on the balconies, and notice the carved faces above the windows. Each one is different.

A shop or cafĂ© in the Monmarte neighborhood behind Sacre Coeur Basilica.  If you read French maybe you can tell me what kind of place this is. We did not have time to go in.

One of the most decorative of the many bridges over the Seine.

    Since Paris is a city for the senses, I cannot do it just by writing and talking about it. It must be seen, felt, heard, and tasted to be appreciated.  If you ever get a chance to go to Paris, by all means do so.  Just beware of the pickpockets and scam artists who abound.


Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Across the Channel to France

  When I left off my story, we had risen to an early breakfast, packed our bags, and were just departing from London in the morning chill.  In order to reach Paris we first traveled by "motor coach" (not "bus") through the English countryside, which looked very much like I imagine the Ohio countryside looked at the beginning of the 20th century.  There was not much to see except road, grass, trees, and the occasional herd of pure white cattle grazing in a farmer's field - no brown Herefords or spotted Guernseys in the bunch. The bucolic scenery was not spoilt by gaudy billboards, strip malls, or urban sprawl.  After a few hours of gazing at the monotonous landscape, we reached the port of Dover and boarded a ferry, bus and all, for the crossing.  It was an overcast gray day, but ceiling to floor ferry windows allowed us to catch a glimpse of the white cliffs of Dover for a few minutes after leaving port.  They were lovely to see, and must be a dazzling sight when the sun shines brightly on the coastline.
   The crossing was uneventful, with the passengers busying themselves with card games, shopping, and beverages (coffee and alcohol) for the roughly 2 hour crossing. When we reached France, we were hustled through customs and loaded back onto the coach with our newly stamped passports in hand..
    At first France's landscape was much like that of England's, except for the appearance of clusters of wind turbines in groups of two, three, or up to a dozen.  Then I began to realize where Van Gogh had gotten his inspiration for his "wheat fields" series, because jarringly bright yellow wheat fields began to dot the landscape, along with the spire-like cypress trees so prevalent in his art.

     We continued on. Most of my fellow travelers had been lulled to sleep by the constant hum of tires against pavement, the now near noon day heat, and the shooshing of the air conditioner that only worked part of the time. We stopped at a rest stop for lunch, where we found small shops with ready made sandwiches, fresh fruit, and drinks.  We enjoyed making our first purchases in French francs and had our first encounter with French pay toilets, which we would encounter often during our stay.  (Most cost a Franc or a Euro.)  I spent a few pleasant minutes watching a group of teenage girls play a game of tree tag in the area of the parking lot and marveled at their carefree innocence.  Then it was back on the bus again for more monotony, until the road signs finally began toindicate we were nearing Paris.
   I don't know from which direction,. but I do know we entered Paris through a seedy side of town.  Judging by the run down ramshackle buildings, garbage piled high around unattended trash cans, and the appearance of the inhabitants, this was the low rent district.  I don't wish to be unkind or appear xenophobic, but this neighborhood was inhabited by immigrants.  These people were not French born or of French descent.  I would not have wanted to walk down any of these streets alone at night.
     As our coach wound it's way through ever more dense traffic, the neighborhood improved, but not by much. The streets was still rather dirty with litter scattered about.  The sandstone colored buildings though were now a bit more elegant with the trademark wrought iron balconies at each window.  To our surprise the bus parked and we disembarked.  This was where we would eat supper every night of our stay in Paris.
     We were directed to a modest restaurant where we were served an evening meal of chicken cordon bleu with chocolate mousse for dessert. The meals here were of uneven quality but I imagine it's hard to find a budget restaurant that can server 160 people at a reasonable price.
  Thus began our three day stay in Paris, a city of many contrasts which I will elaborate on in my next post. 

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Visiting London - A City With a Past

     The first stop on our grand tour of Europe was London England - the city of pomp and circumstance.  Rather than give you a blow by blow account of our every move, let me just give you my impressions.  London is very proud of her past. That is evident in the huge amounts of time and effort spent showcasing the palaces churches, and abodes of the royals, living and dead.  The many historic buildings, from ancient old Windsor Castle to sprawling Buckingham Palace to the fairly modern looking Kensington Palace, are scattered over the city like jewels on a crown.  Being an American and having never really thought about it much, I didn't realize how much real estate the royal family owns in London, and that it's not all bunched together in one little area of the city.  Each building is miles away from the others, with the sprawling city between.  
     When I asked our tour guide the reason for this, he stated that when William the Conqueror came to London he had to lay hold of as much property as he could as quickly as possible, and he could only do that by having a fort every few miles or so.  You must remember, back in those days there was not much in between them except maybe a few peasants huts, I would imagine.  The city has grown up between them over the ages.   So if you want to see all the royal forts, towers, and homes, expect to do a good bit of walking or driving from spot to spot.  And don't expect to get too close to many of them.  There is plenty of barbed wire, spiked walls, electric fences, and iron gates to keep the public at a safe distance, and if there is any doubt, there are warning signs anywhere you get treacherously close to trespassing on royal property.
  Not so say the royals don't allow the commoners to share in the beauty of their properties.  The sunken garden at Kensginton is open to the public, and lovely now as it is adorned in white blooms in remembrance of Princess Diana on the 20th anniversary of her death.  You can take a tour through the public areas of Windsor Castle, for a price, which we did not have time to do.
   One can't help but wonder how it feels to be living within that bubble of royalty, surrounded by all that barbed wire and security. It's no wonder the royals have a reputation for being a little odd at times.  They are as much caged into their lifestyle as we are caged out.
    Apart from, or maybe because of the presence of the royals, London is a very clean city.  It's the only town I've actually seen paid workers on the streets sweeping up cigarette butts and bits of stray trash, in an effort to keep the place tidy.
     Everywhere you look in London are statues - most memorializing some battle or King or Prince or Queen, many covered in gold leaf paint.  There are lots of open public parks, such as Green Park.  The story is, when one particular queen (I forget which one) found out her husband had picked flowers in this park to give to his mistress, she forbade the growing of any flowers there from hence forth.  It's only been in the last few years that Queen Elizabeth has allowed daffodils to be planted.
   The food in London is decent but expensive.  I didn't have any fish and chips but I did have a pretty good "steak & stout" meat pie in Covent Gardens one particularly rainy evening.  You had to be quick and persistent to get a table at the fish and chips joint there, and we were neither, we were just hungry.
  Our breakfasts in the hotel were buffet style with scrambled eggs, sausage (better than Bob Evans), pancakes, cereal, baked beans and tomatoes....wait.....what??  Baked beans and tomatoes for breakfast???  We weren't quite sure what to do with those.  Some put them on their eggs. Some mixed them together and ate them like that. Some just avoided them.  That's what I did.
     London is doing its best to roll out the red carpet to it's guests, despite certain recent terrorist scares.  Chartreuse vested police are everywhere on bikes and on foot.  We were told that only a small percentage carry weapons, but there presence was reassuring just the same.  When we had to cross the Thames River to get to the London Eye, I noticed there had been steel barriers placed between the roadway and the sidewalk, to prevent cars from driving up onto the sidewalk.  I never really felt unsafe, but I was with a tour group and may have been lulled by the "safety in numbers" mindset.  Our bags werechecked thouroughly before we were allowed entrance to any museum or public building. It seems that London officials are making a serious effort to keep the public safe.
     The weather was rainy most of the days we were in London - and that's not a stray shower or tow.  It was an all day drizzly drippy wet rain, with chilly temperatures for June (mid sixties farenheit during the day.)  If you forgot your umbrella and didn't have a raincoat, you were pretty miserable by the end of a long day sightseeing. We felt that the drizzle just contributed to our full London experience.
     I enjoyed London immensely. There's so much to see and do there, and so much history to soak in.  The theater district is a musical lover's dream, with the Globe theater, Queen's Theater, and many others.  London shows are some of the best musical productions in the world!  We were lucky enough to see Les Miserables and it was by far the best live musical I've ever attended.
   But alas! our few days in London soon came to an end and it was time for our next stop, so we gathered together our things, boarded our buses and set off for the City of Lights - Paris!


Sunday, July 16, 2017

Impressions of a Novice Traveler - Preliminaries

 At the ripe age of 59, having never left my home country of the U.S.A. except for brief childhood jaunts across the Canadian border to see Niagara Falls from the Canadian side,  I recently took my first trip abroad. While raising a family, vacations always were of the camping variety, always within driving distance.  This year when my youngest son was invited to be a part of a traveling concert band touring Europe, my husband decided this was a good time for all of us to take the trip. We would be traveling with a group of 120 young choir, band, and string orchestra students, plus numerous directors and chaperones.
    We signed up well over a year in advance which gave us plenty of time to obtain passports and assemble the appropriate gadgets and paraphenalia for a 2 week whirlwind tour of Europe. We were to visit 7 countries, stopping to perform concerts in about 5 of them.
     It also gave me plenty of time to fret and worry about certain recent terrorist events in and around London and Paris.   My husband finally convinced in the end that, although horrific to those affected, the likelihood of any one person  being caught up in one of these incidents was slim. Nevertheless, when another deadly attack occurred a few weeks before our departure, I visited my family doctor and got a prescription for non-addictive anxiety medication which could also be used as allergy pills and for motion sickness. I was set.
     I spent much time prior to the trip reading up on smart packing and travel capsule wardrobes, which focus on color coordinated separates that can be mixed, matched, and layered to get the maximum number of outfits from the minimum number of articles of clothing. The majority of my wardrobe was bought in s second hand store, where I also purchased a Travelon  purse which doubled as a carry on bag. I also bought a money belt, travel lock, an inflatable neck pillow, and travel insurance that covered multiple issues including trip cancellation, lost baggage, and repatriation of my remains were I to suffer an untimely demise while traveling (a sobering thought.)
     Having done all the necessary preparation well in advance, all that was left was to wait for the day of departure. I packed and unpacked my bags weeks in advance to make sure it all fit, with room left over for souvenirs.
     Finally the day arrived. We were up at & for the 4 hour drive to the Detroit airport. Our flight left at 2 p.m. which meant we had to be there by 11.  Upon arrival, we met the other members of our group, said goodbyes, and proceeded through baggage check and security. Having not flown since before "9-11-2001", the intense scrutiny required today was a bit disconcerting but understandably necessary. We finally boarded the plane, made the short hop to Minneapolis, and settled in for a 7 hour layover where we passed the time by window shopping, sitting in sports bars, and walking the huge airport with it many moving sidewalks.
      Next: "Long Night Crossing the Pond", and "London Arrival"